Life is a dream ; Realize it . ♥
Hmm .
No matter how much I love blogging ,
some things are just not meant to blog for others to read .
So should I clearly define ,
blog is a personal space restricted to myself or supposed to be shared with others ?
I think I just kind of found one of the reason towards my indifferent feeling now .
Council used to be my everything .
Because I didn't want to care about other things ,
e.g. Family .
There was a point where I really lost faith in my family ,
till the point that I really don't want to be in it .
But as this year passed ,
I am reflecting something different .
Being in council ,
I got to see people who had damn good family .
People like Ranice, Erika, Michelle and Yanmae .
Everytime when they talk about their family ,
I am envious seeing them beaming ear to ear .
That's the feeling I felt ever since young .
The inferiority of having a family .
Thomas told me he entered council wanting to learn what's the real meaning of family .
It's the same as what I felt .
Though council kind of showed me what's a family ,
I thought I learnt another lesson from it .
Which is cherish my family .
If I can forgive a mistake that my friends make ,
why can't I forgive a mistake that my family members make ?
Yes ,
I should learn to forgive and forget .
If not ,
the person that will be suffering will be me .
Recently had this sms conversation with Ah ting .
Her grandma got into hospital so I smsed to ask her.
SY: Hey ting. How's your grandma already? Heard she went into hospital.
AT: She suffered stroke so half her body cannot move. Then show now very tired like all the time. She like very sad also cause her left body cannot move then the right hand tied to the bed. Nurse say scared she remove the tube at her nose.
SY:Showing signs of dismal and depression huh? How's your family? Your mother,father and brother? You don't feel too sad alright.
AT: Not depression but quite sad. I think she's very scared too. My brother feel very sad also. I see her lying there cannot move I also feel like crying. How's your family?
SY:You have to expect that this kind of thing may happen when you walk through life. Part and parcel ba, don't take it too hard on yourself. I think your grandma needs alot of family encouragement too. And the only way to show is to be strong an positive, keep encouraging her and be there for her.(: the usual, i guess. (:
AT: I know I know. :) thanks. She like suffering a lot so I quite sad. Your family not doing very well too right? You got talk to your mum? Are you staying at Xiao Gu house?
SY:When you feel sad, it's not going to make your grandma feel better. Change that negative energy into motivating energy (: hahas, they in debt i think. But since they say they can handle, then i shall leave them to settle. Unless really got big problem lor. The only way you can learn from your mistake is to suffer the consequence. So now, my mother should be going through that. (: did talk to her, she said she will pick herself up from the trench that she threw herself into. So yup! Nope, not staying. Hahas.
AT: Okay I hope your family can repay the debt and survive this. We will help our family through this yeah? :)
SY:Yeah hahas. Our first challenge when we're one foot into adults' life. (:
AT: Yeah! :) change is hard but needed.
SY:Hahas, good luck to you! (: and good luck to myself! (:
Like it or not ,
when we grow older ,
more and more responsibilities is going to climb up our shoulder .
That 1st batch councillor that came back to give us a talk about values ,
He said something which I realised not long ago .
About being a hypocrite .
So now I'm trying to be more involved in my family .
Though ,
it's just depressing to see the state it is .
The numbness I feel is not because I'm trying to forget every single memories I have with them .
But I guess it's not important anymore .
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